are you ever in the middle of saying something or showing someone something and you realize that literally no one cares
back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found
okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms.
I’m at the grocery store with my grandparents and my grandpa has wandered away and now my grandma is going up every isle yelling his name and im hiding behind a cookie display cuz i dont want anyone to know im with the crazy woman screaming dick at the top of her lungs
So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager.
"Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?"
"Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team."
And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.
And I thought he was gay