littleredrin:

people not in CA: ‘september is the start of autumn! it’s so nice, it’s chilly and i can wear sweaters/drink hot beverages while watching the leaves turn red/orange/whatever!’

me:
image

thelilnan:

employer: why should we hire you?

me: i got first place on Rainbow Road

employer: holy shit

memelordmikey:

*looks up zodiac compatibility with fave* *sees that we’re not compatible* *throws rock at sky* fuck you fake bitch

(Source: deadtoortles)

necrophilofthefuture:

Don’t let anyone else ruin your life. Only YOU can ruin your life. Go ruin your life. Set your house on fire.

sleezed:

I really wanna fuck in a pool. Like the possibilities are endless. My god. But it’s like. Our pool. In our backyard you feel me. Boy. Bet I be eating pussy under water. That’s some wavy next level shit. Put on my goggles. And i’m gone. That’d be some shit if i’m eating her and she’s so into it and she feels me stop and is like ” baby ? ” and i’m on the other side of the pool floating dead. I forgot I needed air. Ain’t even come up smh